My mom has breast cancer

Today my mom and dad called me and my brother into their room and I knew that something was wrong, and they had told me my mom has breast cancer. I don't know how to deal with it, I'm in denial about it, and thinking of the worst outcomes. I'm trying to be happy and positive but it's hard. I don't know what to do and I know I have to be strong for my mom and family but it's hard, what can I do to help deal with it? How can I get my mind off of it?

Hi,

The news of your mom's cancer diagnosis will have been a huge shock for all of you. It's natural that, at first, all the worst thoughts come to mind first. Your mom and dad may still be trying to understand the news, themselves, and may still be waiting for further tests and treatments before knowing the full picture of what the future may hold.

For the next few weeks you may feel very up and down emotionally - it's how our minds react to something that feels like life changing news, and when things feel uncertain.

Many people diagnosed with breast care recover well from their treatment, and go on to live for years - but at the beginning, when the diagnosis is new, you don't know that - so things feel scary.

Do talk openly with your mum, dad and brother if you can, about how you all may be feeling. You'll  probably find they're feeling pretty shaken up too. Ask what happens next for your mom - if she's just been diagnosed, then she may be having some surgery, and/or chemotherapy to start with. Explain that you'd like to support her through this, and accept that at first, she may be feeling stressed and emotional herself.

Don't feel you have to be strong - you're part of a family going through some big stuff - and so you'll have moments where you dont feel strong at all...and that's OK (normal).

It will feel, in these first few weeks, that you can think of nothing else...it's something we do when the future's uncertain. Things will settle down though, once your mom gets started with her cancer treatment, and new temporary 'routines' start. Once you know a bit more about what treatment she's going to have, you'll have an idea how you can support her best.

If you'd like to talk some more about how you're finding things emotionally, or have any questions...I do hope you'll get in touch with us here at riprap...

Warm wishes

Sue

Page updated 26/02/16