Lolo - 14 years old

I blame myself some times because she's dead and take my anger out on other people and i say things i don't mean. I'm finding it hard to cope and control my anger so I'm getting help with that.

I am 14 years old. My mum died last year of cancer but no-one knew she had it so it spread. I cried when i found out, then me, my sister and my carers visited her in hospital. I gave her a present, it was an Elvis cd and a picture of me at the awards night. Then we visited her at home, she had a special bed.

Then we visited her on thursday and on friday my social worker came round and said "she passed away" - I cried and ran to my room. My step dad organized the funeral, it was on a Friday. I could not cope, I cried when i saw the coffin. I made a poem for her, i knew she would have liked it if she was alive. I missed her then and still do now. I cry all night and i can't sleep, i can concentrate at school because it keeps me busy but i think about her most of the time.

I blame myself some times because she's dead and take my anger out on other people and i say things i don't mean. I'm finding it hard to cope and control my anger so I'm getting help with that. I didn't live with my mum because I'm in care. I've been in care for 6 years and I love my carers but not as much as i did my mum and i am very sensitive if someone mentions her name. Now that I've looked at this website it makes me feel a little less stressed because i know I'm not alone with my feelings. This story might be long but it's how i feel every single day of my life :(

Page updated 12 July 2011