Ellie - 16 years old

I found it hard to balance family, friends and school. I did lose a few friends over the time because they couldn't understand or didn't want to see me upset. School was tough too, as it was my GCSE year.

In april last year my mother was taken in to hospital because she had a bad pain in her side. I thought she would be okay and would come home the next day, but the next day pasted and the following weeks. She was moved to another hospital which was further away but I still went to visit her everyday.

In early May, one evening I went to visit her she seemed okay, her happy self. She said that she had to tell me something, I sat on the edge of the bed thinking , she is going to say its cancer , and she did. I was devastated and didnt have any words to say, I felt scared. The doctors and nurses were very nice and explained everything to me and I understood what was going to happen. She stayed in the hospital from May till August , she came home a few times for a short period of time but she always had to go back. She had chemo during this time.

But I just wanted her to stay with me. I was always so very close with my mother as I had no brothers and sisters. I found it hard to balance family, friends and school. I did lose a few friends over the time because they couldnt understand or didnt want to see me upset. School was tough too, as it was my GCSE year.

She came home for about 2 weeks in August and we had friends from aboard come and stay. But she had to go to the local hospice the next day, she stayed there till october. It was closer so it was easier to spend more time with her, because I could tell that she wasnt getting any better. She no longer could have chemo because she was too weak. In late October she passed away. I was at school and the teacher pulled me out of the classroom and I met my aunt in the office. She said she thought she should come and get me.

We went to the hospice and there was my mum lying in her bed, I sat there holding her hand, hoping and praying she wouldnt die, but she did. I kept holding her hand. I was so upset, I cant even describe what I felt.

Everything seemed to sort itself out and we had a funeral for her, that was a very long day. Writing now in June 2010, I see how much I did take my mother for granted and you dont realise how much you love a parent or relative till they are gone. If you are in my situation never stop telling the person that you love them. Yes you will still get upset and some days you will feel terrible but never think it was your fault. I still get upset now and forever will , because she was my mother the person that gave me life. Hope this helped.

Page updated 18 July 2012