Sumaya - 18 years old

Only one of my friends know because she's also related but she doesn't understand how it feels like and we never talk about it. I feel so lonely and sad.

A month ago i came back from outside and my mum was crying. I didn't know what was wrong and then she told me that my dad was diagnosed with gland cancer! I didn't know how to react, i felt like my whole life turned upside down. But i didn't want to cry in front of my mum so i just went upstairs to my room and just bursted in tears. I don't remember ever crying like that in my life.

My dad is my friend, my inspiration and my biggest motivation. We've always been close and i can't imagine a second of my life without him. When i found out, my dad was in Germany and he called me at that night and told me it was going to be alright and that the doctors said he has a very high recovery percentage (+80%) and that he doesn't need a surgery and only needs chemotherapy.

When my dad came back he looked very different. He looked weak and unhappy (although he tried so hard to hide it with making jokes and making us laugh (like he always did) to distract us. Two days after, he was admitted to the hospital and started chemo and i could see the swelling of all his glands and could sense the weakness and tiredness of his voice. It kills me to see my daddy so vulnerable every time i visit him. And my mum cries every time she comes back from him and she looks so stressed with also having deal with my 5 younger siblings. I never cry in front of her, i always try to be strong for her, my siblings who don't understand the severity of the word 'CANCER' and i try so hard to help out in everything.

I cry every night on my bed and whenever i feel a bit happy i remember my dad and feel like i shouldn't be smiling and having fun while my dad is in pain. I didn't tell any of my friends because i feel like they wouldn't understand and i don't want any ones pity. Only one of my friends know because she's also related but she doesn't understand how it feels like and we never talk about it. I feel so lonely and sad. But i know for sure that my dad will be ok and that everything will go back to the way it was with God's will. Especially that the doctors said his body is responding well to the chemo.

If you are going through this as well, i just want to say you are NOT alone. Be strong and it will be alright with god's will.

Page updated 16 September 2014