Bebes - 16 years old

I hated seeing her like this, she's my mum, I thought she is supposed to be looking after me, not the other way round.

My mum got diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago when i was in 4th form. It was in her ovaries so she had an operation (a hysterectomy). It was all ok untill around christmas last year when she went and got a test and the results came back. They were not good. She had cancer back. It was all upsetting for the family and her, she cried a lot and just wanted to be here for us kids. Mum went off to gawler in australia which is supposed to teach you about how to eat well to make the cancer go away. a healthy way instead of chemo.

Unfortunately it didnt work and in march this year she started chemo, it was around my birthday which sucked cause she couldnt come out for diner with the family or anything. After severel treatments of chemo she was on her 2nd to last dose when she ended up getting rushed to hospital in early july. She had many operations and even one of them was a colostomy. it was horrible. i just wanted my mum to be ok and come home. I am the youngest out of the 4 kids and it was just mum and i at home. she barely ate in hospital if lucky maybe half a piece of toast or a bit of some fruit.

After about 6 weeks she went into a hospice. we thought she was getting better. she looked a lot more lively and so after a few weeks she got taken back home. she was getting better until suddenly she didnt eat at all, she couldnt drink, go to the toilet alone or anything. someone had to be with her constantly. i hated seeing her like this, shes my mum i thought she is supposed to be looking after me not the other way round. Everyday she would loose something else. she stopped talking and could eat only the slightest bit. she would barely notice when you were in the room with her.

Then one day she got really cold hands and arms. We asked the nurse what was wrong, she told us mum was going to die very soon. I was in such shock and didnt believe it. That night at 10.10 she passed away in her room in the house she adored with my brother, sister and the nurse in the room. i could not stop crying, it was so sad. At least she wasnt in pain anymore i thought to myself. she had been in pain for the past 2 months.

i still dont believe it and it all seems like a big blur to me. shes my angel though now and i do believe that. I cry every night =(. im glad we had talks about everything when she was in hospital and thats the best thing i could have done. just spend as much time as possible with her.

Page updated 29 October 2007