Angel - 17 years old

She's my best friend, super mom, teacher, role model and inspiration. ...I just feel so emotionally helpless right now.

My mom is the hardworking type. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever known. Her dedication and perseverance inspires me to become a better person. Literally, she has sacrificed A LOT just to give us the things we need and want. Even though we're not rich, she was able to send us to a private school and renowned colleges. :'( I only have one sibling and he's 21 years old right now. We thought that everything is gonna be fine after my bro's graduation. We had a lot of dreams like going to Singapore for a vacation.

It all shattered on the month of June 15, 2013. It was the day when my mom was diagnosed with Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer Stage IV. It has already spread to her liver and lymph nodes. :'( It was totally unexpected since she's a non-smoker, nutritionist and vegetarian. Even if we're eating at fast foods, she doesn't order for herself.

When the doctor stated to us the results, I can't stop crying. I just want to be brought to a deserted place and to scream without boundaries. At first, it was really hard for the family. Since my brother is in another city right now since he's reviewing for the CPA board exam on October, he was informed late regarding our mom's condition. We kept quiet about it for the whole month of June since we don't want him to be disturbed while he's reviewing. It was only on this month of July that my brother and our relatives knew about it. They were in total shock.

No one expected this to happen to my mom :( Everyone loved her dearly due to her bubbly personality. It is really really really difficult right now. I find it hard to find someone who can really understand me. How I wish that I can just find someone who I can burst out all my feelings to without any inhibitions.

Even though I am already 17, I am still very clingy to my mom :( We eat out together, go shopping together, take pics together.... EVERYTHING...

Right now.... What's going on inside my head is that I know someday... the time will come when our Creator will finally meet her. This really saddens me and sometimes brings me to the state of depression. :(

I still have a lot of plans for her like I'll let her tour the whole world and build her a comfortable mansion to live in. I CAN'T IMAGINE MY LIFE WITHOUT HER :( She's my best friend, super mom, teacher, role model and inspiration. On a day to day basis, I just make sure that her favourite songs are being played so that she can smile. Just seeing her suffering like this because of all the treatments she's getting breaks my heart!!!! :'( :'( I even tend to blame myself and question God sometimes.... I don't know... I just feel so emotionally helpless right now. I just wish that things will be like what they used to be before.

Page updated 19 August 2013